[Augusta Golf]

Where will you hold your outdoor press conferences? I suggest ditching the Rose Garden and addressing the world from the 18th green at -- where else? -- the Augusta National! And, in keeping with the world's new casual nature, still in your golf clothes.

You should even be given your own cottage there for use when you are 'in residence'. After all, Ike got his . . . why not you?

I was thinking underneath the big oak tree at the club house. As my appointed Secretary of Instruction you will have ANGC membership and full use of the Eisenhower cabin.

By the way, two changes regarding golf in the U.S.
1. Pants vs. shorts gives an instant distinction between pro and amateur golfer.
2. Beverage cart girls will be replaced with jolly old men in cardigans who carry a grand assortment of the finest cigars, cognac and single malt scotch and can tell grand tales. Speaking of which......cart girls will be sent one per hole to help look for lost golf balls. They will be hot and wear mini-skirts year round. If you have to lose a $4.00 Bridgestone you may as well get something out of it